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The announcement that CBS will show the Tennessee-Florida game at 3:30 is not surprising. This is a Championship Mode game and CBS wanted it in their top spot. But, the sweltering heat plus the blood boiling hatred (if you are one of those bizarre people who do not already hate Tennessee), will bring this game to a new level. Gator fans are anticipating a 70-0 beat down, with Tim Tebow striding across Lake Alice on his way to the Gator Walk. Tennessee fans are anticipating unleashing their boy Lane on the unsuspecting SEC, and ending the Gators' title chances. A pedestrian 37-24 win for Florida almost seems impossible. It's all or nothing.

I cannot think of another Tennessee game I have been anticipating like this. FSU games? Yes, but not Tennessee. Not even the season-ender in 2001, moved due to the 9/11 attacks. (That was my senior year of high school, and I toned down my Gator-fandom in case they rejected me.) I can't even imagine how intense it will be, and I'm someone who yells when Florida is up by four scores.

Another Championship Mode game filled with hate will be Georgia, also a 3:30 start time on Halloween. (Florida-Georgia for Halloween? My God, Jacksonville will burn.) Maybe this is why UF President Bernie Machen does not want as many alcohol vendors in Jax, as the weekend has turned into a way to drop UF's enrollment. But this is like keeping Gasparilla attendees from peeing on rich people's homes; it's not going to happen. (Oh, they're trying to do that? Good luck Hyde Park.) My one Jax experience involved fitting 8 people into a 2-door Chevy Cavalier, sleeping in an abandoned lot, having stray dogs stalk our tent, then evacuating Jax with my brother like the British at Dunkirk.

If Bernie wanted to save kids from the evils of alcohol, he'd get hotels to cut their rates (so you sleep off your buzz in a bed, not a parking garage ledge), make the Jax Police actually enforce laws (Jax acts like this is Mardi Gras), and make areas accessable only to ticket holders or alumni/students (again, locals acting like it's Mardi Gras and starting problems). Machen and UGA's prez have Jacksonville bent over backwards to keep the game in The Bold New City of The South. This is their chance to keep the Florida-Georgia game from being a weekend you forget because you were unconcious from drinking or getting your ass kicked by some guys from Baldwin.

Of course, the other problem with alcohol is that, if not in moderation, it can hurt your ability to be in Championship Mode. That's why UF now has a texting system to alert stadium security of any drunk assholes, douchy frat boys, or people not willing to be in Championship Mode. At least, that's what I'd use it for.

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The Real Decision Time For Calathes: Greece or Minnesota?

by mlmintampa on Jun 26, 2009 12:05 AM EDT in Basketball Comment 7 comments

Nick Calathes was selected 45th by the Minnesota Timberwolves in the NBA Draft. But if Calathes wants to purify himself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka, instead of the Aegean Sea, the T-Wolves will have to hand over $500,000 for a buyout in addition to probably matching the $2 million deal in Greece.

Calathes also has himself in a clusterf, if he is not committed to one or the other. The Greek team signed a former Indiana Pacer to play the point, possibly sticking Calathes on the bench. The T-Wolves drafted three point guards before they even got to Calathes. (This is like the Detroit Lions with wide receivers.) The T-Wolves will hold Calathes rights, so it does not make sense for Calathes to leave for the NBA now. In Greece, he is a backup at worst. In Minnesota, he's behind draft picks Ricky Rubio, Jonny Flynn, Ty Lawson and veteran Sebastian Telfair. Unless he wants precious summer league minutes, he will stay in Greece.

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Random Anger: ESPY Nominations

by mlmintampa on Jun 25, 2009 3:51 PM EDT in Other Sports Comment 15 comments

The ESPYs are just a chance for ESPN to give (insert sexual activity here) to the athletes they try to cover. ESPN tries to wrap every athlete in a warm blanket and keep away from the prying eyes of objective journalists. For every "Outside The Lines" segment, there is an embarrassing attempt to cozy up to an athlete ("Kobe Doin' Work"). Despite being The Worldwide Leader, ESPN has to do this, lest they suffer the same fate as CNN when Fox News became the GOP propaganda arm and MSNBC ran to the left. ESPN is always looking over their shoulder for the next competitor. If they keep close with athletes and teams, it is impossible for a rival to gain a foothold against them. (Look at the struggles of Versus.) There are no Democrats and Republicans in sports. But there are Players and Owners, and ESPN is always trying to make both happy.

Which brings us back to the ESPYs. Let's go through this one-by-one;

1. The Best Male Athlete includes Kobe, LeBron, Michael Phelps and Jimmie Johnson. What? I like NASCAR as much as the next guy (because I bump draft on I-75 like Tony Stewart), but Johnson ahead of Tim Tebow, Usain Bolt, or any NFL player? Really? This is clearly an attempt by ESPN to appease their partners in NASCAR.

2. Bolt is also left out of the Best Championship Performance, which includes Kobe, Cole Hamels (which is a good pick), Phelps, and the two volleyball chicks everyone knows. Way to pick outside the norm, ESPN.

3. The Biggest Upset includes US Soccer over Spain, which happened yesterday. The US win was huge, but who does the nominations? If you can nominate anything, where's the kid who did the cartwheel shot? This is a play for soccer fans and a chance to promote THE WORLD'S LARGEST SPORTING EVENT THE WORLD CUP IS ON ESPN NEXT YEAR. Also, the only acceptable choice here is Rays over Red Sox. Mine That Bird at the Kentucky Derby and Oregon State over USC are also nominees.

4. There are only three games in the Best Games; 2008 Wimbledon Final (Federer-Nadal), the Super Bowl, and Syracuse-UConn Big East Quarterfinal six overtime game. Here's what they missed, just off the top of my head; Red Sox-Rays Game 7, Nova-Pitt East Regional (winning layup for Nova with 0.5 left), Magic-Cavs Game 2 (LeBron's shot), the entire Bulls-Celtics series, Texas-Boston College 25 inning game, Miami U-Boston U NCAA Hockey Final (BU scores twice in final minute to tie, wins in OT). Again, picking the most famous, not the best.

5. We finally get to Tebow in the Best Moment category for his Ole Miss speech. Tebow is with Helio Castroneves winning Indy after being acquitted on tax evasion and US Swim Team's win in the 4x100 relay (the one where the US beat the French by .08). Not even Tebow can beat the US destroying the Frenchies.

6. We know ESPN loves to shove women's basketball down our throats. But that doesn't mean UConn women's basketball should be nominated for Best Team. I don't care they went undefeated. That's happened five times already. Women's basketball is about as competitive as the the US Senate right now. (Only nine teams have won the past 20 women's titles.) They also nominate the Penguins, Steelers, Phillies, Tar Heels and Lakers. That's right, the Florida Gators get the snub. Because going 13-1, defeating the No. 1 team in the nation in consecutive games, and holding the most prolific offense in college football history to 14 points, is no big deal.

7. They don't include Urban Meyer in the Best Coach category, but if UConn's Geno Auriemma wins for his ability to yell at girls, this is a farce. Joe Maddon (even if I think he is a terrible strategist) or the Pens' Dan Bylsma are much more worthy candidates.

Tebow is nominated for Best College Athlete, but with Sam Bradford, Blake Griffin, and future Washington Nationals bust Stephen Strasburg, he will have a tough time winning.

In all, the ESPYs are just a ploy to make athletes happy (ooh, a trip to LA!) and appeal to the type of sports fans who only watch the Super Bowl and famous people. Very little baseball, college sports, or hockey. Tiger Woods was nominated for Best Golfer when he has won only two events since the 2008 US Open. Padraig Harrington has won two majors since then. But I guarantee Woods wins anyway. Yet, Hardcore Fans like us will watch, because it's the day after the MLB All-Star Game, and we're just junkies who need a fix on the only day without major pro sports.

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Bernie Machen Thinks Your School Sucks

by mlmintampa on Jun 17, 2009 11:08 AM EDT in Other Sports Comment 10 comments

Sometimes UF President Bernie Machen does things the student body and young alumni don't like. He seems detached from the problems of students, he wants to bring back alcohol laws from the 1920's, and he has cut some of UF's oldest programs (Liberal Arts, IFAS) deeper than research ones (Medicine, Engineering).

But the man is hellbent on making UF a top-10 school. In addition to hiring Urban Meyer and being at the helm of the Golden Age of The Florida Gators, Machen knows the importance of a strong athletic program. While most intellectuals would discount sports, Machen knows the self-sustaining UAA is a cash cow, that pulls in support for UF academics as well.

He's also a huge Gator homer.

From the Gainesville Sun (HT: J-Fenn), Machen's US News and World Report ballot of colleges and universities reveals just how far this homerism goes. Machen called UF "Distinguished" (the highest ranking, given 5 points under the US News formula), along with several Ivies, Cal and Michigan. The next best, "Strong," included Penn and Duke. In third place, "Good," was Georgetown, FSU and Miami. Getting only two points was USF and UCF, which Machen lumped into the "Adequate" group.

First of all, while I love UF, we are not better than Duke or Georgetown or as good as Harvard and Yale. Those are elite private universities which have not been choked out by their State Governor, like UF has. It is impossible for UF to be that good until the State of Florida makes a serious commitment to education in all economic climates.

Secondly, FSU sucks way worse than Miami and USF. FSU's medical school is about a decade old. Miami and USF have had med schools for decades. Miami is famous for their spine research, USF for cancer care, FSU for convincing ABC to run 'Seminole Firewater' on live TV. If I was a Miami fan, I'd be pissed someone thought UM was as good as FSU, academically. I will give you that medical programs do not guarantee a good school, but can you name me a good medical program at a crappy school? Plus, medical programs bring in the big bucks, which is why UF and USF are treading water as FSU sinks under the weight of State budget cuts.

I love that Machen thinks we're that good, and I hope when my kids attend UF (and they will), getting in will be harder than when I attended. It will be a long way to go to the top. But it's a lot shorter trip than it will be for FSU, Miami or USF.

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College Kids Do Stupid Stuff

by mlmintampa on Jun 16, 2009 11:27 AM EDT in Football Comment 9 comments

The Orlando Sentinel, believe it or not, has one of the Best Sports Sections in the country. For a city with only one pro franchise, that's a big deal. One of the reasons why the Sentinel has done so well is their Florida Gators coverage, led by Jeremy Fowler, who is easily the best Gator beat writer. His Swamp Things blog, which includes Andrea Adelson, should be the first read for every Gator fan.

Fowler and Adelson cover the Gators like the New York Times covers politics or the way ESPN covers Brett Favre; there is always news. When a South Florida Sun-Sentinel columnist noted Florida football's arrests, Adelson gave it a modest treatment. A few days later, Janoris Jenkins got hit with a little taze, and Fowler was giving you the blow-by-blow action. Since the Sun-Sentinel column was noted on May 28, the Sentinel has stuck with the story, pulling every last drop out of it. So much so that they managed to drag Urban Meyer out of his mancave to make a statement. From a database of arrests, to wondering if Florida's discipline savior should be an attorney or Tim Tebow, every angle has been looked at. There has been one angle missing, which Deadspin rightfully called the Sentinel out on;

I count nine cases that rise above garden-variety youthful delinquency. Three of those were tossed. One involved a guy sneaking into an impound to retrieve his girlfriend's towed car, which is downright noble. Nine cases since 2005, if you're counting generously. This a team "out of control"?

Any infraction a college athlete commits, beyond a violent crime, has to be first looked at as "College Kids Do Stupid Stuff". Maybe I'm still too close to college age, so I am more forgiving than Fowler and Adelson, but Fowler was only a few years ahead of me in school. Did he forget what Gainesville can do to the average man? (Actually, both Fowler and Adelson are UF grads, which is probably why they are so good at their jobs.)

I'm not trying to make excuses for UF. As athletes, they are held to a higher standard, and rightfully so. But if you go to school in Gainesville and you don't know productive students who have made mistakes with alcohol/drug use or punched someone in the face, you don't know anyone. (If I didn't carry out one of my female friends from the bar XS, she would have qualified for both.) It is the nature of any college student to act up.

That said, Fowler and Adelson's pursuit of the story is what any good reporter would do. In an age where newspapers are dying, it's nice to see a pair put so much effort into their job. They should also understand their subjects, rather than aiming for the most page views and blog comments. Is the number of arrests a problem? Of course it is. But Meyer removed the four players who were accused multiple times and followed UF policy the rest of the way. Meyer understands he is dealing with 18-22 year olds who are asked to be insane for 14 days a year and perfectly calm the other 351 days. Not to mention, the first time these guys are away from home. Those that cover the Gators do not have to agree with this, or even understand it. They do have to take into consideration that college kids do stupid stuff.

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UF Girls Plus Confetti and Breadcrumb

by mlmintampa on Jun 11, 2009 10:00 AM EDT in Basketball Comment 6 comments

In another sign that this is the Golden Age of The University of Florida, 60% of the incoming freshmen are girls. While females have outnumbered males at UF for about 10 years, no class has been 60-40. Also, one of the side effects of UF becoming more selective has been a drop in the attractiveness of the student body. (I include myself in this, since my lopsided face was in the class of 2006.) But, with more females on campus, surely you'll be able to find hot chicks outside of the sororities. (I say this as a GDI who managed to date two sorority girls, which is not for everyone.)

Speaking of dating hot chicks, The Random Tandem, Confetti and Breadcrumb have dropped their last Gainesville-based video; "I Hate Bees". The boys are headed to New York, leaving Titletown with a lack of ridiculously sexy, tight pants. While "I Hate Bees" lacks the packs of hot chicks that normally follow Confetti and Breadcrumb around, like in "Beards" and "Sideboob", the production values are much better.

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You Can't Win If You Can't Pitch

by mlmintampa on Jun 7, 2009 11:25 PM EDT in Other Sports Comment 4 comments

Gator Baseball's horrific exit in the Super Regional against Southern Miss falls squarely on the Florida pitching staff and Kevin O'Sullivan. While UF's pitchers could not hold down a lead, O'Sullivan appeared to have no idea who to use and when to use them. O'Sullivan's strength is his pitching background, but that can be a weakness too. Just as a pitcher rolls through his pitches to find an out pitch, O'Sullivan just kept rolling UF's pitchers, looking for a guy to lock it down. That he was doing this, two games away from Omaha, speaks as much about O'Sullivan as it does his pitchers.

As mentioned in our preview, Southern Miss could hit, and they did with 19 hits over the two game sweep. Not only that, they were able to chase UF's starters (Stephen Locke, Nick Maronde) early, exposing an awful UF bullpen. By comparison, Southern Miss was able to get five out of their starter Sunday, and the bullpen shut out the Gators. On Saturday, Southern Miss was able to scramble, with their pen allowing three runs in six innings.

The future is still bright for Gator Baseball. While Avery Barnes, Locke and Brandon McArthur are done, UF has a lot of young pitchers and SEC Co-freshman of The Year Preston Tucker returns. That said, they should have dominated Southern Miss. They were no better or worse than anyone else UF has played, just simply hotter.

This also ends the School Sports Year. While 2009 still has the Fall, time in college is measured August to June. The only true disappointment this school year was Basketball, and when that's it, you can say it was a good year.

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Gators Aim For Omahaaaaa

by mlmintampa on Jun 5, 2009 11:04 AM EDT in Other Sports Comment 3 comments

Gator Baseball came out of regionals smelling like lemon lime Gatorade, and the same might happen when they begin Super Regional play against Southern Miss tomorrow in Gainesville. The No. 8 Gators (42-20) last hosted a Super Regional in 2005, when they defeated FSU to go to the College World Series in Omaha. This time, Southern Miss (38-24) presents a far different challenge; the dreaded Hot Team.

Southern Miss was the three seed in the Atlanta regional, taking two from host Georgia Tech to earn the spot in Gainesville. The Fighting Brett Favres actually took the first two games of the regional, with Tech winning to force the deciding game. The Golden Eagles can rake, scoring 17, 10, and 12 in the wins at Atlanta. As a team this season, they have hit .308. Four players have better than 50 RBI, and two more have 39. (Contrast that to UF, where Preston Tucker has 83 RBI. The only guy above 50 is Josh Adams with that number.)

But Southern Miss allowed 15, 7, 8 and 10 in the loss to Tech. That falls in line with their 5.01 team ERA. Beyond their top two starters; righties Todd McInnis (9-4, 3.21) and JR Ballinger (6-3, 3.92), there aren't any studs. Closer Collin Cargill (11 saves, 3.25) looks like trouble, but it's a minefield for Southern Miss to get to him.

Southpaw Stephen Locke (5-2, 4.02) will be on the bump tomorrow and it is crucial Florida dominates. College Baseball favors teams on hot streaks (see 2006 Oregon State, 2008 Fresno State), and UF needs to impose their will on Southern Miss. Plus, playing Game 1 at 3pm, will be a test for everyone. If Florida can get to Southern Miss' pen, the series will be over in two.

~~Alligator Army is making the trip down for Game 1. Tomorrow, we'll move the twitter feed to the main page, so you can follow along too.~~ Nevermind. There is a 60% chance of rain tomorrow and I'm not excited about trying to fight off a rain delay with 5000 other people. ESPN it is!

(BTW, the title comes from this; the most underrated sports theme song. Another great underrated song; NBC US Open coverage, which immediately makes you think of golf on Father's Day. A very nice challenge to the best themes; The Masters and The NBA on NBC.)

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