Q: Why do FSU grads put their diploma on their car dashboard?

A: So they can park in a handicapped spot.

I'm a simple man and there are a few things that make me truly happy; Publix ice cream, Labrador Retrievers, Gainesville, good beer and making fun of Florida State. Three of my best friends went there, so it's not personal. But when I see FSU grad Jenn Sterger trying to insult UF grad Erin Andrews, I get happy inside. You see, Andrews first job was as the Tampa Bay Lightning sideline reporter, before they got good and got bad again (please let Stamkos take us back to the playoffs). You know what Sterger's first job was? Taking her clothes off in magazines.

For a school with a circus, you'd think they'd have a better sense of humor about being second or third place in the state. (Want to get a FSU grad pissed? Tell them USF is better or that their females are ugly. Hilarity ensues.) Of course, Florida has their own bizarre mental state; we are incredible snobs. Which means I expect Andrews to be asked about Sterger's comment and reply, "Who is that?"