Tim Tebow As A Diplomat?

From fellow political science grad Bill Simmons' mailbag;

Q: Which current athlete is most likely to give an impassioned speech that breaks down long-held prejudices (like how Rocky ended the Cold War)?

A: I vote for Tim Tebow. Fox's Thom Brennaman spent 15 minutes with him before the FedEx Orange Bowl and raved about the experience three different times during the telecast, like his life had been irrevocably altered. Can you think of anyone you've ever met for just 15 minutes—in your life—who would turn you into a blubbering stalker on live TV? I say we send Tebow to the Middle East. He can start with Al Qaeda.

Which got us to thinking...

Obama Selects Tebow For Middle East Envoy

WASHINGTON - President-elect Barack Obama announced today that Florida Gators quarterback Tim Tebow would be a part of the United States' diplomatic mission to Israel and Gaza. With the conflict set to escalate in the coming weeks, Mr. Obama has taken a surprising approach to an issue which could dominate the new administration's foreign policy.

"Each adminstration before this one has looked at Israel and Palestine with the same old professors and advisors," President-elect Obama said at a Washington news conference. "We need to think outside of the Beltway. Besides, Tebow can pretty much do anything."

Prior to the announcement, word circulated around Washington about Mr. Obama's unusual pick. Not all of the responses were in favor of a President-elect used to uncommon support.

"What? No one told me about this," California Sen. Barbara Boxer said. "First Obama doesn't tell me who he's picking for the CIA and now this? Who does he think he is anyway?"

Florida Governor Charlie Crist was unavailable for comment as he was too busy counting money the Republican Party of Florida kept away from Arizona Sen. John McCain's presidential campaign in the state.

Tebow attended today's news conference with his right arm in a sling following minor shoulder surgery. Using his trademark charm, Tebow deflected a question about his own personal political beliefs.

"I'm sure there are things Mr. Obama and I disagree on, just like there were with [former Florida offensive coordinator] Coach Mullen and I," the two-time National Champion said. "But I promise you one thing; a lot of good will come out of this. You will never see any diplomat work harder and push as hard as I will push everybody. You will never see a State Department work harder than we will."

Shortly following the announcement, Hamas leader Ismail Haniyeh denounced the pick saying, "God willing, we are now closer to victory because Tebow has not faced anything like Hamas. Also, Sam Bradford and Matt Stafford are better quarterbacks."

On Capitol Hill, Secretary of State designate Hillary Clinton rallied behind her new charge.

"Someone in Hamas said that? Not very smart. The last thing they want to do is get Tebow more juiced up. I think they are going to regret that."

President-elect Obama, who picked the Gators in the BCS Championship Game, first heard of Tebow through former GOP candidate Mike Huckabee, who is friends with Chuck Norris. The actor is friends with Tebow.

"We had the joint debate in New Hampshire and Gov. Huckabee was raving about him," Mr. Obama said. "I told my folks to keep Tebow in mind when we had a seemingly impossible task to take on."

Tebow will earn college credit working in the State Department and is expected to visit the Middle East several times before the start of the 2009 football season.

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