Meyer Is Committed, Notre Dame Is A Desperate Cougar

by mlmintampa on Nov 23, 2009 2:02 PM EST in Florida Football

Urban Meyer says he plans to coach the Gators "as long as they'll have me." With rumors swirling about Charlie Weis' future at Notre Dame, Meyer squashed any potential speculation about leaving Gainesville for South Bend.

Meyer is in a stable relationship and in a very good situation. At the other end of the bar is an older lady named Notre Dame, who still thinks she can run with the young girls. She's had her boobs done and had enough botox shot in her to kill a dog. She's been with older guys, younger guys, even a black guy and a fat guy. And Notre Dame knows Meyer is with a lovely girl. But Notre Dame still thinks she has the goods and she's really desperate. She needs a Sugar Daddy to take her home and pay for her most recent divorce. Oh yeah, she doesn't want you to buy her a whiskey diet. She wants you to buy the cow and the milk, too.

Of course, Notre Dame will pursuit Meyer, because they are so desperate, it doesn't matter if he says no first because he so damn good! Look at him with his rings! Mmmm! She'll wait until Florida goes to the bathroom, and sneak up up to him at the bar and be like, "Ohhhh! You remember me? I was married to that guy Bob, don't I look fantastic!" Meyer might even be nice enough to chat for a bit. After all, it is an old friend. But she looks like a puppet and smells like White Diamonds and liquor. He will turn around on the stool and she'll get excited and think, "He's coming home with me!" But Meyer will get up and meet Florida back on the dance floor. She's bought another round of Bombay and tonics, and damn, she looks so good in blue.

Notre Dame will turn around and start her pursuit again. She needs a new man bad. But, first, another drink please.

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This story is almost too realistic

Personal experience mlm?? Haha jk.

Buffalo, that's where it's at baby. - Adam 'Pacman' Jones

by silverstreak3k on Nov 23, 2009 3:10 PM EST via mobile reply actions

hahaha thats the first thing i thought, and i have to say as a resident of western new york and a somewhat bills fan im sorry i feel your pain.

by gatorempire127 on Nov 23, 2009 3:18 PM EST up reply actions

i thought this was fsu hate week

shoot, most of us was enjoying ourselves and now lookit, you done got half a’ gator nation lining up on bridges to jump off, calm down folks, this is only a test, ….whew

by pLANEolG8RB8 on Nov 23, 2009 3:25 PM EST reply actions

Urban Meyer

My dad said to me many years ago “son, don’t ever let anyone figure you out cause when they do, they’ll use you”. I think my dad may have spoken to Urban Meyer too. Urban doesn’t say a hell of a lot about what he;s thinking and all the speculation works in his favor. I hope Gator fans are still trying to figure him out twenty years from now.

by renegator on Nov 23, 2009 11:59 PM EST reply actions

It was just nonsensical when the media came out with this. What in the hell would prompt someone with so many rings and more to come, to dump his very-high-paying and sucessful college, for a little bit more money, a team lacking in talent, and a total coacjing debacle. Any mediaite who actually considered Meyer leaving is a complete idiot.

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