SEC East Best and Worst Case Scenarios
by mlmintampa on Aug 12, 2009 12:00 AM EDT
in Florida Football
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Florida:
Best Case Scenario: Gators run the table, defeating USC in the BCS Championship Game, 47-10. Tim Tebow walks across Lake Alice. Andre Debose is SEC Freshman of The Year and Major Wright averages one decapitation per year.
Worst Case Scenario: Oh, somewhere in the SEC the sun is shining bright; The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere cheerleaders are light, And somewhere frat boys are getting drunk, and somewhere children shout; But there is no joy in Gainesville - mighty Tebow has just gotten his knees taken out in the Tennessee game. Gators limp to an 8-5 record.
Georgia:
Best Case Scenario: After defeating Okie State, Spurrier in Athens and Arizona State, No. 5 Georgia defeats No. 3 LSU. They roll an overmatched Tennessee and shock No. 1 Florida on Halloween. The Dogs stay undefeated, winning the National Championship.
Worst Case Scenario: The challenging out-of-conference scheduling backfires, with awful losses to Oklahoma State and ASU. Kiffin gets his first SEC win against UGA and Urban Meyer rolls 60 on the Dogs. Making a bad season worse, Georgia Tech grads get the cute girls. 7-6 for the rebuilding Dogs.
Kentucky:
Best Case Scenario: Your former coach joins a rival and becomes involved in a horrifying scandal. You mention it at every chance you get. (Wait, this actually happened. Good thing Rick Pitino is not in a league with a bunch of Catholic schools that would care about extramarital affairs and unborn children.)
Worst Case Scenario: Seriously, the Wildcats could win the SEC and no will care. How's Calipari got the boys goin' in practice?
South Carolina:
Best Case Scenario: Stephen Garcia manages to go an entire season without committing a minor crime. For about two weeks, people think South Carolina has a chance at the SEC East, only for Tebow to destroy them after one of their athletic department officials kept Tebow off their All-SEC ballot. The Cocks go 9-4.
Worst Case Scenario: The Gamecocks start the season 3-3 when they get to travel to Alabama. However, when they arrive at the Columbia airport, South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford has taken the team charter to fly to his dentist, hairstylist or Argentinean piece of ass. South Carolina finishes the season below .500 and Spurrier retires to a golf course.
Tennessee:
Best Case Scenario: Lane Kiffin manages not to get his ass kicked by Meyer, Richt, Saban or Spurrier. The Vols reach the SEC title game, losing to LSU. Eric Berry receives Heisman votes and the Vols make a return to their January home; the Citrus Bowl.
Worst Case Scenario: During a media timeout of the Tennessee-Florida game, UF alum Layla Kiffin walks out of the Gator tunnel as Mick Hubert screams, "MY GOD! THAT'S LAYLA KIFFIN'S MUSIC!" Layla Kiffin grabs a steel chair, smacking Lane Kiffin in the head as 92,000 Gator fans cheer her on. She crosses the field where Shelley Meyer gives Layla a Gators shirt. UF wins by 70 points.
Vanderbilt:
Best Case Scenario: In an epic game, Vanderbilt wins their second straight bowl game, defeating UConn in the PapaJohns.com Bowl. It is the most excited anyone has ever been about eating Papa John's Pizza.
Worst Case Scenario: The Commodores win only four games and slide back into the SEC basement. On the brightside, their degrees mean they will actually be able to find jobs in this economy.
Tomorrow, the SEC West.
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HAHAHA!
That was hillarious and pretty accurate, I think.
"A player who conjugates a verb in the first person singular cannot be part of the squad, he has to conjugate the verb in the first person plural. We. We want to conquer. We are going to conquer. Using the word 'I' when you're in a group makes things complicated." ~ Wanderley Luxemburgo, 1999
With this defence and running game (and schedule,) I think UF would do rather better than 8-5 even with Brantley starting every game. And I devoutly hope we don’t have to put that supposition to the test…
We could actually do pretty well with Brantley back there.
Esp. if the offense is going to be more “pro-style” this season.
I’d wager that the “worst case scenario” for Tennessee could end up being a “best case”. :)
@bs_uf15bosox9be The Original Gameday; Learn to use SB Nation
Well done
With the worst case scenario with the Vols. That was funny.
Of course, if we want to keep a theme, worst case for the Gators would be something like the new NWO being formed featuring the guys who wish they were good but have a lot to prove: South Carolina, Georgia, Ole Miss, and Lane Kiffin, all of who take their turns beating the living crap out of the Defending World Heavyweight Champions.
I was always a WWF kid, so I look at Kiffin and Petrino like Razor Ramon and Diesel. Richt is the HBK and Meyer is HHH. Spurrier is Vince, way too old to still be involved.
mlmintampa
UF C/O 06
I was but a wee little Bobo
in the final days of the WWF. Still the best memories from wrestling come from Mr Rock & co.
But … hmm .. assigning a wrestler to every SEC coach. Now THAT sounds like a fun idea.
by bobo_the_vol on Aug 13, 2009 5:56 PM EDT up reply actions
Ouch
When you say worst-case, you really meant worst-case. Georgia Tech grads getting the cute girls? That’s just a low-blow. That would be a season of disaster if that happened for sure.
http://hobnailboot.wordpress.com/
Omission regarding Tenn Worst Case
“Layla Kiffin grabs a steel chair, smacking Lane Kiffin in the head as 92,000 Gator fans cheer her on. She crosses the field where Shelley Meyer gives Layla a Gators shirt. "
You forgot to add “where they start making out while Urban nods and smiles knowingly.”
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