Fur-Man and The Paladins: Florida Football as Music and Film
by Troll2Troll on Nov 16, 2011 9:14 AM EST
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Print(Promoted while I catch up on things. — Andy)
Where Florida Is:
This season is an absolute good thing. The coming beatdown from the Noles is a good thing. No, I'm not totally deranged (yet), so hear me out.
Like many of you, I was born in Orange and Blue. Like many of you, my formative years coincided with Spurrier's time in Gainesville. I never knew anything but Florida domination. That was until a man named Ron took over in the Swamp, and whatever ideas I had about the eternal reign of the Gators were swiftly and completely destroyed.
It occurred to me recently that many younger Gators out there today came to the team after Zook's departure, and have only really known Meyer and Muschamp. If that description fits any of you, let me tell you that these are the days that pay off in the future. It's losing two straight to the Cocks, two straight to the Bayou Bengals, three straight to the Tide and any to the Dawgs that make success afterwards so sweet. You put your time in with a bad team like this, and the championships to come will fill you with the most satisfyingly happy feelings you can get from this sport. I broke down and cried in January 2007, after watching the Gators complete the most magical season I'll ever see. I cried that night from joy, because I cried in October 2004 from the pain of a brutal loss to LSU in the Swamp. They ran the same damn play the whole way down the field on their game-winning drive, and we could do nothing to stop them. It was a horrible night, and it was one of the last nights of Zook's tenure. Without the blown leads and general incompetence of the Zook years, the Meyer years would not have seemed nearly as special.
2010/2011 is our new perspective readjustment. It's the memory of the misery of a losing season in the SEC which will provide the greatest joy in future conquests. So while it's going to sting like a wasp to finish 6-6, this year is actually good for us. It takes a long-view focus and a healthy dose of patience to see that, but it's there. With that in mind, I give you...
What: "Sadness is a Blessing" by the outstanding Lykke Li, a Swedish (again with the Swedes!) singer with soul to spare.
Why: Because our current sadness truly is a blessing. It sure doesn't feel like it now, but it will.
The Point:
I ranted, I pleaded, I beg him not to go
For sorrow, the only lover I've ever known
Sadness is a blessing
Sadness is a pearl
Sadness is my boyfriend
Oh, sadness I'm your girl
These scars of mine make wounded rhymes tonight
I dream of times when you were mine so I
Can keep it like a haunting
Heart beating close to mine
Sadness, for the time being, I'm your girl.
-----
The Opponent
What: "That Beep" by Australian modernist weirdos Architecture in Helsinki. No, I don't have any idea what this song or video is about, either. Damn if it isn't catchy, though.
Why: Because what in the blue hell is a Paladin, anyway? Nonsense music for a nonsense mascot. Der Googlemeister says the Paladins were the foremost warriors in Charlemagne's court. That's moderately cool, I suppose, but it's completely hipster'd, so I'm still keeping them with the Australian whackos.
The...Uhh...Point:
I never knew your middle name
No need to play that game
I called your doctor up
And he promised me pain was fun
Tried a little bit of moving on
It lasted way too long
Dressed up as bubblegum
I'm stuck to your shoe, let's run
Can you give me that
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep
Says it all, really. Profound blue people from the upside down part of the world.
----
Where Is Florida With A Victory:
What: "The wrong kind of orgasm" scene from Woody Allen's wonderful 1979 film, "Manhattan."
Why: Because just like there's no such thing as the wrong kind of orgasm, there's no such thing as the wrong kind of victory. Especially not when you need another one to qualify for a bowl. I'm still embarrassed to be playing FCS teams, but everyone needs a slumpbuster once in a while. So, Furman, you're the girl at the bar carrying a couple extra...hundred...pounds, and you're coming back to Casa Del Muschamp tonight.
The Point:
"I've never had the wrong kind. Ever. Ever. My worst one was right on the money."
Six wins is a bowl berth. A bowl berth is 15 extra practices this team needs desperately. So, UF 56 - Furman 10...right on the money.
Edit: Embedding disabled?! What kind of a twisted freak disables embeds?
---
Where Is Florida With A Loss
What: The Castle Bravo nuclear test set to Messa Di Requiem.
Why: If Florida loses to Furman, we don't need to fire Muschamp. We need to nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.*
The Point:
I think the video made my point pretty well.
----
Songs For Our Former Coaches
The confluence of UF losing to Spurrier, Meyer inching closer towards another job, and Zook staring down the barrel of another firing has inspired me to do a little special section on our former HBCs.
A Song For Spurrier
What: "Tick of the Clock" by The Chromatics, a band out of Portland with a really unique mixture of different styles. This song was featured in the movie "Drive" recently.
Why: The clock is ticking, Steve. It's counting down your storied career. It's counting down this current Gamecock ownership of the series. You've done a great job selling your new school on optimism and belief, but deep down you know the truth. You know it better than anyone. This is a blip for the history books. A speed bump on the march towards inevitability. It wouldn't shock me if you retired this season. The East is as low as it's ever likely to be, but you'll be on the couch with the Gators come SECCG weekend. How many more chances do you'll think you'll get with UF, UT and UGA teams this weak?
The Point:
Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock. If not now, when?
----
A Song For Zook
What: "Ghosts" by Ladytron, an awesomely named quartet from England who dabble in all sorts of musical styles, and do it all extremely well.
Why: Because the truth is, Ron, part of me feels sorry you. I hated your guts when you were here, but I know that you never gave less than everything you had. I know how much this job meant to you. I can only imagine how bad it must have hurt to lose this in the middle of your third season. Your recruits led directly to what will always be my favorite season, and although you would have never in a million years coached them to such success, you deserve credit for bringing them here in the first place.
The Point:
There's a ghost through me
who wants to say "I'm sorry"
Doesn't mean I'm sorry
A ghost in me wants to say I'm sorry, Ron, for the humiliation of a midseason firing. For joining in the "Fire Zook!" chants. For downloading a photo editing tool just to put a damn strikethrough your face for my message board signature.
But I'm not going to say sorry, Ron, because I'm not sorry. You had to go. I wish it wasn't so acrimonious and bitter, but it had to happen.
-----
A Song For Meyer
What: "Hope You're Happy Now" by The Sounds, a Swedish (SWEDES!!!) rock band with post-punk/New Wave flavors.
Why: Meyer met with Arizona's AD recently, and although he declined the job, the fact that he took the meeting at all is a pretty clear signal that he'll be on somebody's sideline in 2012. I'm not one of those Gators who's particularly angry with Meyer over how and why he left, although I am pretty peeved at some of his recruiting efforts (specifically the catastrophic 2008 class). However, Meyer taking a coaching job in 2012, after a whole year off for "family" and "health," pretty much blows up whatever reasoning he gave for leaving Florida. I don't know why he left, but it sure as hell wasn't what he said it was.
The Point:
They call me a slut
Then call me a liar
Got so many names now
I can't even deny it
They call me a thief
They put up a fight
Try to bury me six feet under the ground
So this song is from me to you
You make me mad and you make me blue
You're looking like I do
You know I can see you
We dance the same groove
But I got the right move
Hope your happy now
But I'm not giving in
I hope you're satisfied
With your bullshit and your lies
Hope your happy now
But I'm not giving up
I hope your satisfied
Can't bury me alive
I hope you're happy in State College, or Columbus, or wherever it is you end up. Honestly, I do hope that. I'll always remember the amazing seasons you brought us here. I don't appreciate being lied to, though. I didn't appreciate you dumping the incompetent fool Addazio on us. I don't appreciate you leaving us in the lurch two years in a row, for family or health reasons, only to stay away from coaching the bare minimum amount of time.
Whatever your reasons were for wanting to get away, you should just own them. Spurrier essentially blamed the fans and our ridiculous expectations, and he's still widely loved here. No one would hold it against you if you said it was too big to handle any more. Just stop using your personal life as a shield if you're going to keep coaching. I'll almost certainly accept whatever your real reasoning is, I just want you to own it.
*On that Aliens note, is anyone else shaking with excitement over Prometheus? The trailer should drop any week now, and I'm going to lose it when it does.
Please be kind and use good grammar.
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Hell on Wheels!!!
Editor at Alligator Army - The Florida Gators Blog
The Florida Gators - The most despised team in all of college football - Which is fantastic.
Is that show any good?
It looked interesting, but the reviews were pretty poor.
Oh, come on. Don't leave your uncle T-bag hangin'.
by Troll2Troll on Nov 16, 2011 11:52 AM EST up reply actions
I think it is. But I’m a history person who specializes in the Antebellum, Civil War and Reconstruction era’s, so I’m pretty much a fan of anything that is in that time period.
The fact that it talks about the Crédit Mobilier scandal is awesome. That was even Gilded Age stuff, led to ways to start the big corporations like US Steel, Standard Oil, and the trusts that came out of it (Anti-Trust laws soon after to stop those) …
But yeah, they tell the story pretty well so far. Illegal profits from railroads, Native American influence (read: attacks) on the railroad, railroad competition (who gets to the middle first!), Southern vengeance, Carpetbaggers … it’s all there.
Plus, anything with Colm Meaney is just automatically awesome. You should check it out. It’s good stuff.
Editor at Alligator Army - The Florida Gators Blog
The Florida Gators - The most despised team in all of college football - Which is fantastic.
Great point.
Being only 20 (almost 21:) ) the only thing I remember from the ole ball coach era is the 96 championship which made me a gator and the only thing I remember from the zook era are disappointing seasons. I remember the whole Meyer era and it was amazing. The Boom era has promise and even tho it’s been very rough so far, mostly cuz my best friend is a Dawg fan, I still keep hope alive that a year or two years down the line there will be joy watching the gators again. Every team has down time it’s a way of college football. But through rebuilding, reloading, and hopefully the recruiting of amazing players we will be at the top again beating everyone’s faces into their own assholes.
by gatorempire127 on Nov 16, 2011 11:10 AM EST via mobile reply actions
Stephon Diggs I’m looking at you kid I know ppl you went to highschool with don’t make me come down there and sew a gators hat to your head.
by gatorempire127 on Nov 16, 2011 11:13 AM EST via mobile up reply actions
Wow, I'm old.
I’ve been involved since Galen Hall…so yeah, I truly appreciate the good years, and I was shocked (still am) at what Meyer did in such a brief time. I don’t like the way he ended it, and what’s left of his credibility will implode when starts talking about Ohio State being the top of the mountain. But he sure gave us a great run (and what fun the spread was!), and I’ll always appreciate that.
I wish him only the best. Until he starts coaching at Ohio State, and then I wish him personal happiness and 6 loss seasons until he retires. Then un-retires and retires again.
by CKGator on Nov 16, 2011 11:24 AM EST reply actions 1 recs
apparently it was almost the Arizona wildcats...
even though he turned it down he was in miami talking to the AD about the job. more than likely it will be ohio state. ive heard he already bought a house there.
Now you're just trying to be EDSBS
Come on!
Gimme some sugar, baby.
by Tubby Sweetbundle on Nov 16, 2011 11:30 AM EST reply actions
Uhhh.
Troll2Troll’s been writing these on his own. They’re kind of substantially different from EDSBS.
by Andy Hutchins on Nov 16, 2011 12:10 PM EST up reply actions
It's funny
because I started doing these things because I didn’t want to write in Spencer’s wheelhouse at all. He absolutely kills it on a daily basis, and any Gator would crazy to invite the comparison.
So as much I want to write 2,000 words from the perspective of John Brantley’s ankle, I resist.
Oh, come on. Don't leave your uncle T-bag hangin'.
Try growing up in Gainesville in the 70's
Sitting through games during the Dickey era was just bad sometimes, horrific at others. But no question that made the subsequent NT’s oh sooooooo much sweeter
The only things that happened in Gainesville, with regards to the football team in the 70’s, were Doug’s Rug and the winless season in ’79. Other than that, I guess the history books left the rest out.
Editor at Alligator Army - The Florida Gators Blog
The Florida Gators - The most despised team in all of college football - Which is fantastic.
Can you imagine a winless season now?
Gainesville would burn. I don’t even think I’m exaggerating.
Oh, come on. Don't leave your uncle T-bag hangin'.
I wouldn’t doubt it at all. It’d burn worse than Atlanta and Columbia combined.
Editor at Alligator Army - The Florida Gators Blog
The Florida Gators - The most despised team in all of college football - Which is fantastic.
I hope so, but I just don’t know.
Editor at Alligator Army - The Florida Gators Blog
The Florida Gators - The most despised team in all of college football - Which is fantastic.
This is exactly what I imagined....
…a losing football teams blog to be like. Plenty of talk about anything but football and the annihilation of your next opponent. Look at what we have become. Once we were the shining gator nation on the mountain, now we are infested with sores and shopping around for a pharmacy to fill our collective oxycodone prescriptions while we wait for our disability
check to show up. No stiffening of the vertebra here just an embrace of mediocrity as we discuss the good old days of skinny posts and 4 td passing games. Kind of like the days before the obummer was around. Now we bow to the other sec schools and apologize for our past exceptionalism.
by Backto89 on Nov 16, 2011 8:44 PM EST via mobile reply actions
It’s all good. The Gators will be alright. We ain’t bowing to nobody.
Editor at Alligator Army - The Florida Gators Blog
The Florida Gators - The most despised team in all of college football - Which is fantastic.
what in the hell are you talking about???
i think your brain got infected with politics. last time i checked this was about sports.
Right, Right, Right... "Sports"--I'll let Uncle Herman break it down
…YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME! Not next year but next week and every week. You play to win the game! They say you play like you practice and you practice as you are coached. Connect the dots. Not that Herm Edwards was a very successful Coach but he did manage himself a few seconds of YouTUBE fame.This rant which was derived from a Vince Lombardi quote, and truer words were never spoken in “sports”. Don’t bow down and don’t give up on games like against FSU (a few people here have already) which haven’t even been played yet ..You play to win the game. By the eternal, that should be in the tunnel at Florida Field.
Which of course reminds me of how some parents don’t understand this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdx0SvcLXh8
How in the world, could a father (or mother) actually allow their child to be in this ad. America continues on the sissy track. Though it is getting worse, especially with ads like that. The losers are the ones who always say “It only matters that you have fun” … please. Like Herm said, “YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME! HELLO!”
Editor at Alligator Army - The Florida Gators Blog
The Florida Gators - The most despised team in all of college football - Which is fantastic.
That is very troubling, defeat doesn't taste like Pizza Hut
Defeat tastes real bad.
FlaGators, I admire the hell out of your signature. “the most despised team in all of college football”. I like to think all good Gators aspire to that every day. However something odd has been happening around here. My neighbors, where I have lived for many seasons have started talking to me more and more this time of year. By way of explanation my neighbors are all fans of or alumni from various SEC schools. Some have even taken to inviting me over for social functions such as a Halloween Party (by the across the street Alabama fans) or a cookout by the Georgia fans down the block.
These are places that the Gator colors never fly (or get invited to) this time of the year. This type of treatment screams that we are not “the most despised team in College Football” which for me is NOT fantastic. I hate these functions. I have noticed I haven’t seen my old friend from LSU (who lives behind our house) at these parties nor has anyone spoken to him in a couple of years. I see him often though and his grass looks very verdant. I hate it.
So while some may hate the analogy, that’s what the Gators and the USA under OBOZO (who by the way is at a cookout today in Australia) have become.
Here is a full link to Herm if you need to readjust your minds and vertebra:
Thanks, and so do I.
Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. Those type of get-togethers are horrible. The worst part the last two years have been the quick little one-lines that people are doing all of the sudden to us. But depending on who they are a fan of, if I know them real well, am friends with them etc., I may or may not make a little comment back.
I agree with 100% of everything you said. It’s just crazy now. It’ll change though.
Editor at Alligator Army - The Florida Gators Blog
The Florida Gators - The most despised team in all of college football - Which is fantastic.
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