Vanderbilt and The Commodores

I'm one of those sad little people whose entire life is almost exclusively defined by music and movies. If I kept track of it, I'd bet easily 10% of the words that come out of my mouth are quotes from films, particularly Coen brothers films and any number of idiotic comedies (special mention to "Anchorman," Super Troopers," and "This Is Spinal Tap.")

As for the music, well, every minute of the day I'm either listening in my car, on my computer, with my headphones or just singing along in my head. I don't even turn it off during Gator games (you'll notice I don't complain about announcers as much as most people. This is because I don't hear them often). These things have combined to make me a socially dysfunctional walking encyclopedia of films and certain types of music. My loss in society is my gain in gimmicky football previews, though! So here's your Vandy preview through the prism of someone who lives vicariously through the works of others!

What: "Please Stand Up" by British Sea Power.

Why: "British Sea Power" because we're playing the Commodores. "Please Stand Up" because somebody, anybody on offense....please stand up. Also, it's a pretty solid example of mid-2000's British indie. 

The Point:

 If there's anyone asking, did you get a rush?
There's no point in asking, it wasn't enough
There's nobody else here, so please stand up

Everyone is injured and bad and lost and confused and on the edge. There's nobody else here, so please stand up, someone.

Where Florida is: 


What: "World Spins Madly On" by The Weepies. They're sort of a folk-infused version of The Shins. A lot more sincere than the band of "New Slang" fame, however. 

Why: I think we've past the anger stage, and are in full blown footballing depression now. You only get twelve to fourteen games a year, and you probably won't get as many years as you want. This is the true tragedy of a lost season.

The Point:

"I woke up and wished that I was dead"

I don't know about anyone else, but that more less describes my Sunday morning after the Cocktail Party.

"Everything that I said I'd do
Like make the world brand new
And take the time for you
I just got lost and slept right through the dawn
And the world spins madly on"

Tell me they weren't writing about Urban with that passage! What a state we're in when a band called The Weepies is writing program-defining music for us.

"I watch the stars from window sill
The whole world is moving and I'm standing still"

This Saturday Alabama and LSU will play in the Game of the Century of the Year. Florida, meanwhile, is probably more irrelevant nationally than it's been in twenty years. Sure, the Zook years were more or less wilderness, but at least we got consistent headlines for calling his head constantly (by the way, ESPN, we told you so)

Where Florida will be if we win: 

What: "Those Dancing Days" by Those Dancing Days. They're an all-girl Swedish rock band with a great drummer (look up "Fuckarias" for her best work). Huge energy and original compositions. Swedish rock currently blows the Hell out of the rather pathetic American scene, so if you're craving some new rock that isn't awful, look to land of blonde hair and cold.

Why: Because "it's just Vandy" is bullshit after a four game losing streak. If we win on a fluke play combined with a bad call, I don't care. I'll be dancing all night.

The Point:

On the top of satisfaction
Yves Saint Laurent shades in the darkness
Summer attraction pounding in my veins
Time does not exist

High on life, in love with me
Dancing in the night, dancing through the days
High on life, in love with me
Dancing in the night, dancing through the days

As a big fan of sunglasses in the dark, I fully endorse this. A win, and you bet your ass there'll be a drunk moron with sunglasses dancing in North Florida. 

Where Florida will be if we lose: 

What: The famous "coin toss" scene from the outstanding 2007 film "No Country for Old Men." 

Why: If you've seen the film, then you know just how dire I think Florida's situation is by selecting this clip. If you haven't seen the film, then just know that it's a very, very bad sign if the character of Anton Chigurh shows up in your game preview. 

The Point: 

"What's the most you ever lost on a coin toss?"

What do we stand to gain on Saturday? Everything. Certain bowl-eligibility, the avoidance of a losing season in the regular season, and the smallest bit of momentum for South Carolina and FSU.

What do we stand to lose on Saturday? Everything. Near-certain losing season and no bowl. Hopeless fights against the Gamecocks and Noles. An absolute destruction, basically. 

This is it, Florida. You've got a massive winning streak over Vanderbilt that is older than most of the players. You've got a home winning streak over Vanderbilt that goes back to World War Two. You've got the nation's second longest bowl appearance streak and you haven't had a losing season since 1979. All of these things are on the line Saturday, and they are all in mortal danger. 

"You've been putting it up your whole life, you just didn't know it."

Please be kind and use good grammar.

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