The Worst Possible Offensive Coordinators for Florida
by ParadigmShift35 on Dec 14, 2011 7:40 PM EST
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Fellow Gators,
We've been throwing around a lot of names for who may be our offensive coordinator next year. Most of them are extremely depressing. Let's explore the worst case scenarios to joke around and give us some sanity. I'm confident that all of us have a feeling that the hire will be less than awesome.
Sincerely,
ParadigmShift35
Ron Prince - It's so bad I would almost be happy. A Power Towel-waver on our sidelines? What could go wrong? #RonP4UFOC
Jeff Bowden - A Bowden coaching a Florida team? I would rather die. Plus, he isn't good at all.
via acctrash.files.wordpress.com
Will Muschamp - In this scenario, Muschamp calls the offensive plays, too. My God. I can't even imagine a defensive coach calling offensive plays.
ParadigmShift35 - I would call every play like it's NCAA 12. Four Verts! Deep Attack! Screen Pass!
via a0.twimg.com
A Turkey Sandwich - Hell, it couldn't be worse than Weis.
via i.istockimg.com
KJGator22 - He would just criticize the players the entire game. He's a sports fan, y'all.
via a2.twimg.com
Please be kind and use good grammar.
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Vote for me for Offensive Coordinator!
I promise I’ll, like, throw the ball downfield and stuff. These things are voted on, right?
His name was Nick Bloomfield.
Also Not You
by The Commenter Formerly Known as Not You on Dec 14, 2011 7:50 PM EST via mobile reply actions
I think we should beg this guy to come back.
Listen to them, the children of the night. What sweet music they make.
by Gatorbuc15 on Dec 14, 2011 8:22 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
Hahahaha
I guess the game plan you and I talked about makes us ineligable for the job paradigm. Screw it hahaha
by gatorempire127 on Dec 14, 2011 8:41 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
ummm
how is RB Dive Left and RB Dive Right not on the Addazio Decision Maker?
The old redneck guys who parked and tailgated at my best friends' house in college
had had a signature drink called a “Turkey Sandwich, Hold The Bread.” It was Wild Turkey 101 with Mountain Dew. That is what I think of whenever I hear “turkey sandwich,” and that is how I chose to interpret the potential coordinator.
In all kinds of weather we'll all stick together
MDEW Code Red and Vodka is my go to drink if I don't have anything better
"When you argue correctly, you're never wrong."-Nick Naylor
"My God. I can't even imagine a defensive coach calling offensive plays"
This guy is available.
/trollface
Graduating from the University of Florida on Saturday
Craig James killed 5 hookers at SMU. Here is the proof
Make your own Craig James Killed 5 Hookers @ SMU Signboard
Props for using KJGator22.
What an ass that guy is. I think I would argue with him even if I agreed with him.
Oh, come on. Don't leave your uncle T-bag hangin'.
we need someone who'll take a hands-on approach to the game
That’s why I think it has to be the ghost of Woody Hayes. He helped invent the boring offense used by the NFL, and he’ll toughen our players up the old fashioned way: physical abuse. Unless his non-corporeal form is unable to connect with the occasional throat-punch.
by NC_Gator on Dec 15, 2011 5:59 AM EST via mobile reply actions
If it has to be a living person
How about Dave Clawson. I hear he did some wonderful things at Tennessee with a catfish for a quarterback.
by NC_Gator on Dec 15, 2011 6:06 AM EST via mobile up reply actions
Maybe we should go ahead and replace the whole offensive staff
Wide Receivers – Terrence Edwards
As a standout at UGa, his play in the 4th quarter (dropped pass) helped decide the 2002 Cocktail Party, and led the Dawgs to a 13-1 record.
Offensive Line – Andre Maginot
The deceased French Minister of War developed an innovative blocking scheme that prevented the German invasion of France in World War II for days as they circumvented the Maginot Line by going through Belgium.
Running Backs/Recruiting Coordinator – O.J. Simpson
This is an image hire, who wouldn’t feel safe with O.J. sitting in their living room promising to treat their son like family?
And finally…
Quarterbacks/Offensive Coordinator – Garo Yapremian
His throwing motion may be unusual, but all he does is throw touchdowns (just search for him on YouTube). Some people may disagree with naming a kicker offensive coordinator, but I say the “kick first” offensive philosophy needs to be explored.
by NC_Gator on Dec 15, 2011 7:05 AM EST reply actions 1 recs
Jeff Driskel, anyone?
As in, he calls all his own plays. Hey, it works for that Andrew Luck guy.
Muschamp calling offensive plays
Coach: Punt.
Driskell: But it’s only 1st down!
Coach: Punt.
Driskell: …………
Coach: Give our D a chance to score. BOOM!
"I'll always use the negativity as more motivation to work even harder and become even stronger."
August 4, 2011
by GoGators15 on Dec 15, 2011 9:29 AM EST reply actions 5 recs
Allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste.
My Tumblr, where the photoshops go. | EDSBS steam group. |
"Damnation seize my soul if I give you quarters, or take any from you." - Edward Teach
by RjTheMetalhead on Dec 15, 2011 2:54 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
I think Muschamp could work
We could just stare at the defense for 25 seconds and on the next play try to draw them offsides with 20 “hut-hut”s … Isn’t it ingenious? Course it is. In fact it’s Genenis, it’s BRILLIANT!
Coach Boom: Emperor Palpatine, I mean Saban, when I get to Florida who should I get to run my offense?
Emperor Pal ...err Nick Saban: Charlie Weis is better. He goes in first and screws the offense. Mike Shula is better. He leaves the fanbase devoid of hope and life. Oh, really, fool? Really.
[Notices Kerwin Bell walking up.]
Nick Saban: Stop looking at me, Bell.
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