There are three days until the Florida Gators' 2011 football opener against Florida Atlantic on September 3. There are ... a lot of entries remaining in our 50 For 50 series. Check out Alligator Army's 50 For 50 series for more of our 50 reasons to be excited for Florida football in 2011.
The point of this is that Jelani Jenkins' misery and cockroach clash tactics are both pretty funny, and that I will enjoy rooting for Jelani Jenkins immensely this fall.
The full story — in which Jenkins considers his Call of Duty: Black Ops training, calls for backup, and drops some of the better bon mots I have seen from a Florida player not named Will Hill — in chronological order after the jump.
ima keep it one hunnit, a big ginormous roach jus chased me outta my own bathroom..this means war
i may have lost the battle, but the war has jus begun
i think anybody would be a little caught off guard by a gigantic roach with wings flying into the bathroom while they are in it
cudda sworn i heard it growl at me too
this is gonna need to be a two man mission.. ima need @JoshEvans24 to help me outflank it and take this sucker out
maybe if i crack the door open and throw a flashbang in there thatll give me the advantage i need to take it out
lol no seriously tho this is an issue..the roach had triceps
planning my attack
okay this is gettin rediculous..im goin in for the kill, could def use some prayers and encouragement
i think whats gettin me is the fact that its a triple threat bug.. fast, agile, and can fly..thats NOT NORMAL
lol @JoshEvans24 bailed on me
worst part is its prolly so hydrated ryt now..left my gatorade in there when i bolted out..smh
okay i didnt think ahead for a situation like this so no i do not have RAID
smh..cant even find it
prolly a trap oor ambush
theres nothin i can do..it has ghost pro i cant find it
#EPICFAIL ... thats an hour of my life that ill never get back
it heard me comin and ran away... #coward #gatorbait
that was a smart roach tho..i dont even think he wanted to hurt me i think he jus wanted me to think about him whenever i go to the bathroom
#likemotherlikeson lol momma jus hit me up and told me i better get rid of that roach before she gets to florida this w/e for the game
Here's hoping Jenkins gets that roach out of his bathroom before mom comes down for the Florida Atlantic game ... and that he tweets about that, too.