FanPost

The Jorts Question


I am 2001 UF grad. I went to law school in Athens (I had to live amongst the enemy to truly know myself). I married a TCU alum and moved to Texas.

I get the cliche that Florida fans wear jorts. I do. I don't think my last pair hit the trash can until some point AFTER I moved to Gainesville in 1998. We all know that the sidewalk alums have their ways. All I'm saying is that the rest of you SEC, ACC, and Big XII fans are whistling past the graveyard when you roll it out. The entire South had decades without major professional sports and the colleges picked up the slack EVERYWHERE.

I have SEEN you, FSU fans in Jacksonville. I know who you are, Iowa State fans from the 2005 Houston Bowl. I know your ways, Texas and Aggie fans shopping at the Saginaw, Texas Wal-Mart that I swear supplies a generous plurality of the "People of Walmart" posts. J'accuse, UGA fans across Athens and northern Georgia.

So, by all means enjoy your fun. We all know there's a kernel of truth to it, but way down deep in your garnet and black and maroon and burnt-orange little hearts, you know that the disdain you cast upon me and mine is nothing more than overcompensation for the desperate hope that no one ever goes through YOUR closet or sees that photo from your cousin's girlfriend's brother's Facebook. For god's sake, Aggies, the OVERALLS. Dear god in heaven above, the OVERALLS.

All I'm saying is this. You want us in those jorts. You NEED us in those jorts. We shall abide.

Please be kind and use good grammar.

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