Finally, the 2014 NFL Draft is here. Finally, we may be able to focus again on things other than the NFL Draft.
The first round begins at 8:00 p.m. Eastern tonight, and I'll be here in the comments with my utterly useless extremely valuable thoughts on the proceedings. You can watch the first round on ESPN or on NFL Network or streaming online at ESPN3 if you are a cable subscriber or via the NFL Network if you subscribe to it.
The Houston Texans have the first pick, and are likely to pick Jadeveon Clowney, a player so overwhelming that Xavier Nixon successfully blocked him 1-on-1 a couple times in 2012. A lot of other teams are going to make other picks. Many of them will be stupid. If a team is smart, it will roll the dice and select Florida product Dominique Easley, a first-round talent with mid-round knees.
If the Packers do that, I'll be over here crying tears of joy and coughing. If the Packers don't do that, I'll still be coughing, because this cold is awesome, y'all.
I welcome your company in the comments, and would also like to direct you to the incredibly slick SB Nation draft tracker and SB Nation NFL Draft Night LIVE, which will a) be funny and informative and b) not involve Chris Berman, I'm told. (It's live now, too, so you can watch it instead of the pre-Draft stuff on ESPN and NFL Network.)
I hope your team drafts a good player, unless your team is the Bears or the Vikings or the Lions, in which case I hope your team does everything wrong.