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The Water War

By mlmintampa

We can't call Saturday "The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party" and I don't think "World's Largest Outdoor Coke Orgy" is going to fly with anyone besides the students at Florida and Georgia. Well, what about The Water War?

Gov. Sonny Perdue declared a state of emergency in most of Georgia on Saturday, and called on President Bush to recognize that the historic drought had created a disaster for 85 counties...Purdue's actions came as the federal government continued to release water from Lake Lanier to protect endangered mussels in Florida at the expense of water-starved North Georgia.

Are we going to have to throw down? Today, Georgia goes after our mussels. Then it's the manatees and the alligators. We can't stand for this. Manatees are the cutest water animal and alligators eat people. We need them.

Purdue should really think about what he's doing. First of all, Georgia counties are the size of a city block. That 85 number is garbage. Secondly, um, we're Florida. We have more electoral votes than you. Now who is Gee-dub going to side with?

If there were nine months without rain, water supplies still would be adequate, said Maj. Daren Payne, the Army Corps' deputy commander for the Mobile, Alabama, District.
The corps sent a letter to Perdue assessing the situation and pointing out that they are "not going to run out [of water] any time soon," Payne said.

Ok, so that wasn't Gee-dub, but it's the Army!
It's not Florida's fault that we are getting normal rainfall. We're already conserving with low flow shower heads and low flow toilets, and that is pretty painful.
Alligator Army would like to officially suggest these alternatives for Georgia;
  1. Build a desalination plant on the Atlantic and pipe the water in.
  2. Dump Dasani water into lakes. It's tap water anyway.
  3. Don't drink water, drink Gatorade. Plus, UGA fans can continue their recent history of supporting Gators athletics.