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An Open Letter to T.K. Wetherell

Florida State and Bobby Bowden have reportedly agreed to a one year contract extension. With this in mind, Alligator Army has decided to pen an open letter to FSU president T.K. Wetherell.

Mr. Wetherell,

After reading the news of Bobby Bowden's contract extension, I celebrated with a gin and tonic splashed with lemon-lime Gatorade. I save that special drink for only when I know something good will happen later like getting a date with a Tri-Delt or when ESPN Classic runs promos for a weekend American Gladiators marathon.

Anyway, after watching good ole Bobby stand 50 yards down field without his headset on last Saturday, I'm glad to see you have extended his contract. I hope included in Bobby's contract is a little something extra for the poor kid who has the wear the headset. Because it seems like he's the one wearing the pants in the relationship. Bobby's gone to the Depends.

I know operating the state's third place university must be hard, but that's no excuse to only pay Bobby $2.5 million next season. You and I both know you could get rid of a few academic majors and no one would notice. Put that savings into Bobby's contract and the reanimation that will happen after he dies in 2027. If FSU wants to remain relevant with UF and a rising program at USF, you have to at least make people think Bobby is still alive.

Actually, we should be congratulating you. By keeping FSU football firmly planted in 1993, you are insuring a bright future for the Gators and Bulls. Kind of like what you're doing with academics. Enjoy the Meineke Car Care Bowl sucka!