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Ron Zook Sucks

Saturday evening, Ron Zook was named Liberty Mutual Coach of The Year. Zook defeated candidates like Mark Mangino, Mark Richt, and my dog Bella. This award is another in a long line of BS compliments the former Saints defensive coordinator has received. Even his Wikipedia page is a pile of crap. Zook also does well with sports writers who forget what Zook did to a proud program in Gainesville. This is all documented by our friends at Saurian Sagacity.

I have a special connection to Zook because he nearly ruined my first three years at UF. I was accepted to Florida in February of 2002, a month after Zook came in. I admit I did not know much about him, but Zook had coached in the NFL, so I thought he'd be ok. But as we all found out, he was horrible.

Some people can be described as being, "A leader of men." Well, Zook's time in Gainesville proved that he wasn't. There were the uneven punishments to Taurean Charles and Channing Crowder. The back-to-back losses to Miami, when the Gators looked lost (2002) or Zook did (2003). He wasted one year of Sexy Rexy and two years of Chris Leak. And I don't want to hear how he was a master recruiter because Reg Nelson and Jarvis Moss were wasted on his teams. It took Meyer to even figure out Moss had a bacteria in his system, preventing him from reaching his potential. Zook had called it tendonitis.

You want more proof? Here's Zook in Buddy Martin's The Boys from Old Florida; (emphasis theirs)

"I look back on the thing - and I really don't want to talk a lot about it - but I look back on the thing, as I told our players and our coaches after it was over: `Fellas we didn't fail. We DID NOT FAIL! We were successful. We did a great job.' I felt like the program was in great shape when we left, and I'm not going to feel bad about it."

You didn't fail? YOU DID FAIL! After Florida beat Arkansas to win the SEC title, I told my exgirlfriend how I had waited four years for this. Not just a conference title; Zook didn't even win the SEC East! And he has the nerve to say he didn't fail? Maybe it's the Gator Snob in me, but at no point should the University of Florida tolerate mediocrity. Not in medicine, not in the arts, and sure as hell not in football. The playing in two New Years Day bowl games argument is garbage too. 11am in Raymond James Stadium is barely a New Years Day game.

All of this puts Ron Zook in my personal Axis of Evil with Jason Varitek, Joe Ayrault, and Jarome Iginla. They have all earned this very special and disgusting insult. I invite you to use it as well.

If he was on fire, I wouldn't cross the street and pee on him if it meant saving his life.

Over the top? Yes. Hilarious? Yes. Uncalled for? Well, you weren't a student in the Zook era, were ya?

This leads us to the Rose Bowl, which Zook will be counting as his third New Years Day game. Not only do I hope USC rolls up 60 on Zook, I hope Zook breaks his leg like what happened to Joe Paterno. But instead of the leg healing, I hope Zook develops an infection and needs the leg amputated. Yeah, that's right. Like I said, this guy wasted three precious years of my Gator fandom. It will take me a long time to get over it. Maybe a few more National Championships will heal my wounds.