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Public Enemy No. 1: Ryan Karl

Live in Gainesville...Saturday afternoon, The Big Train will be making his first appearance in The Swamp this season. The Big Train is a good friend of Alligator Army and he asked me if he could write something for the site today.

In 2005, my boy Bubba Caldwell was at the top of his game. Catching balls, running, and returning kicks, Bubba was the perfect weapon in Urban's offense. Then while returning the opening kick of the second half in the Tennessee game, Ryan Fucking Karl went kamikaze and speared Bubba in his right leg, breaking it.

Now Ryan Karl is back in The Swamp and I'm ready for him. He thinks his six tackles make him a badass? That when he stands with his hands on his hips he's hot shit? Fuck that, I watch Human Weapon son! I can kill you in 10 different ways! I even know that Savate Streetfighting shit that the French used before they became wusses! You don't even watch the History Channel because you're too busy watching `Top Chef' on Bravo!

Look at you with your Ken Huckaby and Claude Lemieux posters. I got National Championship posters in my room! You want to take pride in accomplishing nothing significant in your career but taking out people more talented than you? Who does that other than Boston College? Oh, Ryan Fucking Karl. I'll see you Saturday jackass.

Um, thanks Big Train! Stay with Alligator Army for more profanity laced rants!