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Meyer Is Committed, Notre Dame Is A Desperate Cougar

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From the Associated Press;

Urban Meyer says he plans to coach the Gators "as long as they'll have me." With rumors swirling about Charlie Weis' future at Notre Dame, Meyer squashed any potential speculation about leaving Gainesville for South Bend.

Meyer is in a stable relationship and in a very good situation. At the other end of the bar is an older lady named Notre Dame, who still thinks she can run with the young girls. She's had her boobs done and had enough botox shot in her to kill a dog. She's been with older guys, younger guys, even a black guy and a fat guy. And Notre Dame knows Meyer is with a lovely girl. But Notre Dame still thinks she has the goods and she's really desperate. She needs a Sugar Daddy to take her home and pay for her most recent divorce. Oh yeah, she doesn't want you to buy her a whiskey diet. She wants you to buy the cow and the milk, too.

Of course, Notre Dame will pursuit Meyer, because they are so desperate, it doesn't matter if he says no first because he so damn good! Look at him with his rings! Mmmm! She'll wait until Florida goes to the bathroom, and sneak up up to him at the bar and be like, "Ohhhh! You remember me? I was married to that guy Bob, don't I look fantastic!" Meyer might even be nice enough to chat for a bit. After all, it is an old friend. But she looks like a puppet and smells like White Diamonds and liquor. He will turn around on the stool and she'll get excited and think, "He's coming home with me!" But Meyer will get up and meet Florida back on the dance floor. She's bought another round of Bombay and tonics, and damn, she looks so good in blue.

Notre Dame will turn around and start her pursuit again. She needs a new man bad. But, first, another drink please.