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Things to do this weekend instead of watching the Gators

The bye week comes at a perfect time for us and the Gators. It gives the team time to heal and not figure out how to fix the offense. It gives us time for the rest of our lives. Here's a list of things to do this weekend, instead of watching the Gators with your hands over your face.

- Go see a hockey game. The Florida Panthers are at home Saturday and the Tampa Bay Lightning are at home Sunday. The NHL is, by far, the best sport to see live.

- Take your wife and kids out to lunch.

- Take your mistress out to dinner.

- Watch this and remember how awesome Sesame Street is. 

- Apply to be the Gators offensive coordinator. Note the time you beat the computer on varsity in NCAA Football with 10 points and an onside kick recovery in the last two minutes. (I have never seen anyone recover an onside kick in a video game.)

- Volunteer with children. See who runs the fastest and submit their names to the Main Board as future recruits.

- Call Old Memorial in Tampa for a round. Uncle Pennybags' group needs a fourth. Nevermind, they got a foursome.

- Vote. Seriously. Early voting times continue today and Saturday.

- Get blackout drunk; sleep with a random chick at a bar. Get blackout drunk Saturday; sleep with a diner waitress, who you also told your true identity to, not the stolen identity you have used and built in the last 20 years. (Note: Only applies to Don Draper.)

- Call your mother. She's worried about you.

Also, congrats to skigator93 for his pick of Utah being the Gators preferred home-and-home series. However, it was probably helped by Utah fans who found the story through the Utes' page on Thanks to everyone for playing.