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Florida Gators coaching search: The best candidates who will definitely not be hired

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None of these names will be Florida's next coach. (We're pretty sure.)

HE'S SAYING GO FOR TWO! WE GOT A GAMBLER!
HE'S SAYING GO FOR TWO! WE GOT A GAMBLER!
Andrew Weber-USA TODAY Sports

Over the next few weeks or months or however long it takes for Jeremy Foley to fire Will Muschamp, you'll read a few articles with three or four possible candidates for Florida's next head coaching position.

What I've done to save you the trouble is gather a list of over seven but fewer than 13 coaches that I've seen mentioned for — or, in my opinion, unjustly left out of — the conversation about who will replace Muschamp.

It's without a doubt the most complete and logical group I've seen around the Internet, so if I missed a name you think deserves some attention, let me know! We'll be sure to talk it out.

10. Bill Yoast

Yoast was T.C. Williams High School's head coach before Herman Boone took over the program in 1971. As defensive coordinator, he helped coach the Titans to a state championship. He's known for brilliant moves such as using converted running back Petey Jones as the team's top safety, but was also too stubborn to fix his mistake of starting Ryan Hurst, quite possibly the worst cornerback in Virginia High School football history, before giving up multiple touchdowns.

He's an interesting candidate and "a Hall of Famer in my book," according to that girl from Heroes, but I'd pass on him for better names that may be available. He's also old as dirt, at over 90. Might not be able to run through the tunnel, or walk, or stand. We'll have to look into better disability accomodations.

9. Charlie Strong

Nope, no, Texas gets to have our former defensive coordinator now. Fair's fair. Rules are rules.

And would Florida fans really want Strong as their head coach? Pretty sure there'd be like 15 players left on the roster at this point, one of whom would somehow be Jeff Driskel.

8. Nate Scarborough

The rough-and-tough coach may not be on every school's list of potential head coaches, but Florida went 4-8 last year; they can't rule anyone out. As a former Heisman trophy winner from Oklahoma in 1955, Scarborough is most known for leading a rag-tag group of prison inmates to a one-game season victory back in the 70's. He knows how to get the most out of his players, and though he was able to heavily lean on a talented running back during his tenure, he wasn't much of an offensive guru. He also put on pads and checked himself in with the game on the line, not sure you can do that in the NCAA. Though if you can, Muschamp should give it a try.

7. Chip Kelly

6. Sam Winters

We're finding out slowly that the world of college sports isn't pretty; there's a lot of bad deeds that go on behind closed doors. If you're not an ethical person and you just want wins, Sam Winters is your guy.

He dealt with PEDs, divas, and the constant feeling of having to win at ESU. Sometimes you have to bend the rules and maybe even stick your head in the sand to win some football games, or at least, that's what Winters would tell you. Ya know, now that I think of it. That kind of reminds me of another former Florida head coach. Man, can't think of his name. This is going to bug me all day. I'll get back to you.

5. Coach Klein

Klein had a rough few years as head coach of the South Central Louisiana State University Mud Dogs before rediscovering his offensive genius. But after their Bourbon Bowl win, Klein has emerged as the country's top offensive risk taker; he's Art Briles without the price tag, or the intractable roots in Texas.

He'll give Florida fans all the trick plays they can handle, and the words "boring" and "clock management" will never be used in Gainesville again. On the flip side, we can't be sure developing talent is one of his strengths, and his motivational tactics are uncharacteristic, to say the least. He'd need a good staff around him. Could be a solid OC if Roper leaves, but such a jump to a head coaching position might be too risky. Some say he's set to retire down in Louisiana, though. He might be a long shot.

4. Steve Spurrier

3. Herman Boone

Herman Boone is best known for his 1971 season at T.C. Williams High School, where he led the Titans to an undefeated 12-0 perfect season and the school's first state championship — and the No. 2 ranking among high school teams in the nation that year — but he had a decorated coaching career even before that.

At E.J. Hayes High School in North Carolina, Boone amassed 99 wins and just eight losses in a nine-year span; he was also named Coach of The Year six times. His success at T.C. Williams is what puts him near the top of the list, but TCWHS didn't make it back to a Virginia title game until 1984, over a decade later; he's clearly not the best at sustaining success.

Known as more of an offensive minded-read option coach, his style matches up with the personnel Florida currently has. He's AN answer for the Gators, but I'm not sure he's THE answer. Leaping from high school to D-I is a big jump, especially at that age.

(Editor's note: Also, Remember the Titans is a bright shining lie.)

2. Jimmy McGinty

The two-time Washington Sentinels coach is sure to have NFL offers that may keep him in the league, but, heck, why not take a flyer? He was put in a difficult situation, forming a team to compete in a short amount of time during a lockout, and he did it well. That ingenuity is something Florida may need in the SEC.

However, his belief and confidence in a quarterback that proved him wrong time and time again (Shane Falco) until the last game is terrifying with Jeff Driskel still on the roster. I love his mentality and his ability to coach anyone -- hell, he made a former sumo wrestler into an All-Pro lineman, and  taught a deaf guy to play tight end -- but his style could be a home run, or produce another muddle that Foley is stuck with in four years.

1. Eric Taylor

"Clear eyes, full hearts, puncho?" Been there, done that.

Star-divide

...hey, wait a second.

(thinks)

Hey, wait! URBAN MEYER. THAT'S who I was thinking of!